These days, there are tons of people with emotional and mental issues that hold them back from doing things they should be doing. Most of these thing often begin in childhood. Depression, no motivation- and no one is there to help these people with it. Everyone is too busy working for themselves they arent willing to aid and live with someone who has depression, in order for them to be happy. A person who is depressed needs someone there to keep them in line, on a schedule and to keep the bad emotions and thoughts away. So much depression it makes me want to open a depression house. Depressed people, coming together to keep each other in line and to learn how to change their thinking so that they can one day go off on their own and grow; these people are stunted. Most of them decide that they want to be better, to do the right things and to get up and get moving and do what they need to do, but they are paralyzed. It is not an excuse it is an issue. 

Encouragement, friendliness, daily chats, honesty and guiding will help with these issues. But is anyone there willing to do it? no. Most people who are depressed don’t say they are, and if they do they’re not proud of it. No one wants to go up to someone and smile and say i have depression will you help me? They’re ashamed of it. How will you know who is depressed and who isn’t if they don’t tell you? You won’t know.. There are some of the most bubbliest people on the planet who are depressed. We need people who are willing to go out and help. But we also need people who are willing to change from that. Would you help?

Change is hard, it wont be easy. Life has been made easy for everyone, no one is willing to do hard work for themselves. They play with their little cell phones and toys until college rolls around and you get a free apartment. With a roomy of course, but it’s usually a friend so.. It’s nice having it easy, but if you don’t know hard work first it’ll spoil you. Change is often scary, but it’s needed. Change is better with a friend. 

Sometimes people who need change the most are people who are alone in the world. If a person wants to make the world a better place, the first thing you have to do is teach them a hard life, give them friends and family and good foundation. When they’re old enough to go out and live on their own don’t hesitate to help them in that dream. You cannot protect your kids from the world, you need to teach them to protect themselves; and let them go when the time comes. It’ll be change, but don’t fear change. Embrace it. 

New generations are not concerned with the past generations and their choices. Which i don’t blame them, if my life was wrapped around why people were calling me names all the time i’d be too busy to care about what they did. Why should i care about my ancestors when i’m more concerned on my future? It’s a very selfish way of thinking, in my opinion. Previous generations made what you have to live with today, your feelings, your environment, the way your family lives depended on the way previous generations acted and believed. What they did or didn’t do caused ripples in the next generations and your one of them. Don’t be so quick to turn a blind eye to what you don’t know. It’s what you should know that matters. While you’re all caught up in your life not thinking about everyone elses— What about when you have kids? When you think you’re ready for them or whether they just come unexpectedly, are you going to teach them the basics of taking care of themselves or are you going to actually teach them what you know so that they wont fuck up their lives or the generations after them? Your life doesn’t affect just you. Life doesn’t revolve around you. It’s all of us. Use your brain, think about it. Don’t keep yourself in the shadows just because you don’t feel like searching yourself. Your family, your friends, your children, your sisters children, your brothers children, everyone around you will learn from you. A habit, a lesson, history, the future, the present, economics; whatever you talk about whatever your prove, whatever idea you have, or share they will know and learn from it. Will it be good ideas? Cause that’s up to you. What will you do for your REAL future? Not the school, or work, or where you’re going to live, or who you’re going to fuck- i mean your REAL future. Your kids, and your family and your friends are your future. If they’re dumb, ignorant and choose wrong paths, your life will be fucked up from the start. If all your concerned about is partying and grades and what color your hair is; i don’t think i wanna be friends with you. So really, what will you choose? Who will you be? And what are you going to do about it?

People are so funny, looking around for this physical god. Then when they can’t find them they don’t believe there is one. You cannot see God with human eyes. You can search everywhere for your expectations of God and at your own will deny his existence all you want. Angels and God play by the rules, demons don’t. Ask someone who is haunted if they exist. Ask- no, don’t ask. Go live with them for a while. When you watch things move without anything being there to move it- nothing physical, maybe then you’ll know what i’m talking about. 

>.> 
Guys.. i think i’m going through puberty again.. my emo’s are all over the place..

I know i’ve been kinda treating my mom like crap because of the little things she does that tend to piss me off. Like, when it takes a week to get one thing from the store when you’ve gone… what.. like 5 times by now? It’s also annoying when she says she’s gunna start the day care up and she wants to when i ask her if the flooring we have for that room (which we’re not going to do because the rest of the house isn’t done and she wants to be able to stain without worrying about the floor) for my room instead of the front room- she cant even go a day without taking a nap and she watches tv most of the day. If getting old means lazing around the house and do nothing, then everyone but dad has been old for at least 5 years. Dad has a bit of my respect. Although he’s a bit hotheaded at times and can say things like he’s mad, he never stopped moving. He doesn’t expect people to do every little thing for him, like take out their dish and stain the wood. Sure, it may be a spoiled bratty thing to say, but I’ve done that for too long and i’m just sick of it. Not for me, nope.
I’m sick of living like this. How people get mad at our habits and our opinions because they cant get mad about our actions; mainly because there never is any action. We just laze around the house all day. Someone wants it this way, someone else whats it that way. You’ve got to be looked in the eye when your talkin’, and if your not there will be some argument. By God if your not right in front of her she’ll get pissy, and if she doesn’t you do. If this is all just me then, here- this is how i see it. 
I tend to be an angry person. I’m mad, frustrated. I’m disappointed a little bit every day by my family members. I will be forgotten one day. I hate humans; in my eyes they are a one way story. Everyone wants to tell their troubles to someone, someone to tell their story to, because they fear of being forgotten, of not leaving something memorable behind for their children and grandchildren. I am not afraid of this, instead i want to teach kids and adults my way of things- i don’t want them to grow up like me. I don’t assume my way is the right way, but i would think its a better way. I guess in that sense i stand out, and as an outsider i get many evil eyes, angry faces, judgmental looks and closed doors. 
Respect is to be earned. I respect everyone to a degree as they are strangers. I smile and wave and give them a happy face, treat them as strangers ought to. If they come back, that’s great, a new friend, if they act like they don’t want it they are welcome to not speak to me again. I’m looking for people like me, i am looking for hope there are people like me, i am waiting for; A Freak Like Me. 

Sometimes i think i should go to college, but then i think it’s useless. I didn’t go through the whole high school thing, instead i grew up in a lazy depressed home. That’s all i know. I’m too old for high school, there’s no one to keep me in line; i need to learn how to do this stuff. If i were to go to college i’d have to go through high school first, because i don’t have that. I don’t have the everyday walking talking and living, instead i have the don’t do anything, sleep when you want to and the only thing your called for is supper. I’m too old. I shouldve gone through high school. I wasn’t ready for it then. I didn’t pay attention to words i was still in that fairy land like all the other ten year olds. I’m too old, it’s too late. What do i do now? I know, i must make you, the reader, angry because i whine so much and it all seems like excuses. But why don’t you put yourself in my shoes for a second? Be a bird for a day. Even thought your human, you do what humans do that’s all you know. I don’t want to be like this, i need someone to drag me out of here and show me how to live. I want to hunt, i want to be trained, i need to. The military has my age range and they train. But to get there i need to get my GED, they say i need to be a certain amount of weight and it would be better if i do push ups and stuff to prepare so i’m not hurting when i get in there. But dudes… if i could do it by myself now i would. My mind is just set on lazy and i can’t change it by myself. I’ve tried, numerous times. Everybody says the same thing. Go get your GED. I don’t know how. And moms to fucking busy doing what? watching tv and staining her wood. I need someone to tell me I’ve got to and to stop complaining to stop using excuses and just do it, and then to do it with me. Because i’m just not willing to live for myself. I have nothing to live for, nothing i’m good at besides tracking trails in the woods; and even that’s a bit shot. 

~AFreakLikeMe

March 18th, 2012 

I haven’t been feeling well lately. Whether it’s the season, allergies or sickness it doesn’t feel very good. I went on a tiny rant about how kids treat each other these days and how parents neglect to form a foundation for them to grow on; how the system has near forced families to keep everything that goes on a secret, and how the schools need discipline, because if going to the principal and sitting in a class room is disciplined then we’re all a little screwed aren’t we? 

I love my sister. If i could i would try to brighten every single day of hers and help her in any way i can. I try to steer her in the right direction, even if its a dark spot. Sometimes she can say little things that make me so furious. Things that imply i don’t love her, and that i favor others- like my love has titles. I love all my family, and the older i get the more things have meaning. If you were to ask me three years ago if i loved my family i would’ve cleanly said. “No, in fact i hate them.” It wouldn’t have been horrid to never see them again, to never talk or even acknowledge they existed. They didn’t do anything so bad to make that happen, it’s just theyv’e never been family-like to even gain respect in my eyes. They stand by and just go through life like everyone else; like a pack of lost children. I hated them because they never realized it, because when i did, i hated them for not being smarter and for not teaching me to be smart and to act better. Sure they did that when i was younger but once i hit my teens i was practically ignored. I have lost hope for gaining respect or anymore love then what i can offer now. I realize that whatever i know now it isn’t common, and if it is no one applies it- no one cares anymore to be smart in life and respect. They demand it like it’s their right, but they have no reason to be respected. They say respect the schools, the government, your elders- When the school has failed, the government is all screwed up and your elders just might be the hippies who smoked all day and screwed each other because they thought it was all love and peace. Enough of my ranting now. It’s infuriating to see people act like this. It makes me easy to piss off, sort of speak. 

I can’t go out and find people like me. I’ve been in one place all my life and its not easy getting out. I feel like I’ve been cursed. I don’t even want to interact with people these days; i want to be happy, and people don’t make me happy. 

I know no one with the same line of knowledge i seek reads my little spats, but if anyone were to-

~AFreakLikeMe
?

You know, sometimes i dont think i can do this. Like, everyday goes by and i get one step closer, but it always feels like its just gunna be another flunk, another failure that was ever just in my head. Other times i feel great about it and it feels closer. Like i can do it, just a few things i have to do first. But today it really just feels like a flunk. No deadline, nothing to keep me going on it except that i really want to do it. People are saying, “ok you’re interested….and?” Like that’s it, that’s all it’s ever going to be, is just an interest. 

I want to do this, but how am i supposed to when i barely know what i’m doing?

You have a decision to make every single day. When you wake up you have the choice of what your attitude is gonna look like; whether it’s grumpy, or sad, or if your gonna put all your troubles behind you, for just a day, and smell the roses. You might not be in the spot where you dream of, but you could probably make your life a little better, just by trading your sorrows for a pack of chocolates. Your attitude makes all the difference, and only you can decide which choice you choose. 

 

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Might i just express the stupid ass people with the stupid ass idea’s? You mind?

Let’s look at some very popular phrases such as, “I want to be true to myself.” “let me make my own decisions.” and, “it’s my life.” and the ever favorable, ”It’s none of your business.” They are the most stupidest fake, empty lies i have ever heard on a daily basis. I cannot begin to describe-  

If you are you then who am I? I am me am i not? You grow and learn and all you do is believe everythign your told, your hurt by little things like, “your ugly” and the world’s game is how hard can you hit your neighbor? The first one to fall will win, win what you ask? Well, they will win the attention and fierce challenge of more to come. If that stumbles you, you’re not ready. 

If you’re gullible enough to say the first then you’re dumb enough to say the second. It is not wise to just do what you see fit. You’re not the first person to come across this choice, do you know how many people screw up because they thought it was a good idea? If your one of those people who like to, “live in the moment” then get a real life, and i hope reality smacks you hard. 

Yes, it is your life but every choice you make does not effect you. If you decide you want to be an asshole to everyone you meet, then it’s not your feelings that are being hurt is it? I’d like for you to meet the seventeen hundred souls around you that are effected emotionally because you thought it wouldn’t hurt anyone. It is every ones business, because everyone is involved. You think your the only one who has to deal with your consequences? Think again. 

People who are cute in talk, but are a tad stupid seriously- i can’t stand to be around them. Sure they’re fun, but they’re also a bit ridiculous. 

i always feel like barfing when your around.. idk i think its just.. you.